Disney's smart play or desperate Hail Mary?

😎 Market Vibes

Welcome to another day in the casino where earnings beats don't guarantee stock pumps and $20 billion buybacks can't save your stock price. Today's serving: Disney's streaming struggles meet NFL lifelines, Uber throws money at shareholders while going nowhere, and Novo Nordisk fights weight-loss drug pirates while Wall Street yawns. Strap in - it's Wednesday and logic has left the building.

🎢 Earnings rollercoaster

• 🚀 Disney beats on earnings, misses on revenue: DIS earned $1.61 per share vs $1.47 expected, but revenue of $23.65B fell short of $23.73B estimates. Mixed bag for the Magic Kingdom.

• 🏭 Caterpillar feels the tariff squeeze - CAT warns of $1.5B hit from Trump tariffs in 2025, with Q3 alone taking a $400-500M punch. Industrial stocks getting demolished.

• 📱 Uber rides to mixed results - UBER matched EPS at 63 cents but revenue of $12.65B beat the $12.46B estimate, plus announced a massive $20B buyback. Stock down 1% despite the buyback bonanza.

• 💊 Novo Nordisk stumbles on Ozempic hype - NVO missed on both lines despite $7.9B from wonder drugs. Even weight-loss miracles can't beat sky-high expectations.

• 🍟 McDonald's bounces back from E. coli nightmare - MCD same-store sales up 2.5% vs 2.3% expected, erasing last quarter's 3.6% drop. Golden arches prove resilient.

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💸 Trade Talk

Disney just made the ultimate sports streaming power move by snagging NFL Network, RedZone, and NFL Fantasy in exchange for giving the NFL a 10% stake in ESPN. This isn't just about content - it's about survival. While linear TV revenue crashes 15% and cord-cutting eats their lunch, Disney's betting everything on ESPN's $29.99 standalone streaming service launching August 21st. The NFL basically said "we'll help you not die, but we want equity." Smart play or desperate Hail Mary? Time will tell.

🧠 Big Brain Energy

$20 billion - That's Uber's massive new share buyback authorization announced today, yet the stock still fell 1%. In today's market, apparently not even burning $20B on buybacks can save your stock price. Chef's kiss to this economy.

🧨The Outrage Meter

Novo Nordisk's $3 billion Wegovy miracle that nobody wants to celebrate - NVO posted 67% Wegovy sales growth to $3.03B, but shares still dropped 1.2% because Wall Street is apparently impossible to please. The real kicker? They're doubling down on direct-to-consumer sales to fight illegal compounders who are still peddling knockoff weight-loss drugs despite FDA crackdowns. So you've got a company absolutely crushing it with obesity drugs while having to battle back-alley pharma pirates. Peak 2025 healthcare vibes.

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🤔What Do You Think?

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