🤡 Fed Circus 2025: Cuts, Clowns & Political Shanks

🎪 Scene One: The Pause That Panders

Seven meetings. Seven holds. The Fed is locked at 5.25-5.50%, making "higher for longer" feel more like "stuck forever."

Powell swears they're still "data-dependent," but that's rich coming from a Fed that's watching CPI miss estimates for two straight months and still can't pull the trigger. Instead, they toss us a half-hearted dot-plot showing two cuts in 2025, like a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat that says, "maybe... if we feel like it."

Meanwhile, inflation's still projected to hover at 3.0%+ for 2024. So either they're giving up the 2% fight or they've redefined "stable prices" as "close enough, bro."

🤸🏻 Scene Two: Dot-Plot Gymnastics

Today's dot-plot reveal? Pure comedy. The committee was one vote away from cutting back to just one rate cut for the year. That's not forward guidance - that's chaotic vibes in PowerPoint form.

This isn't a central bank with a plan. It's 19 people in a group chat trying to set interest rates between arguments about lunch orders and who forgot to mute.

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🔥 Scene Three: Waller Goes Rogue

Fed Governor Christopher Waller tossed gasoline on the fire with a CNBC mic-drop: cuts could come as early as July... if inflation stays chill.

That's a huge "if." But the real kicker? He basically admitted the Fed's thinking is shifting faster than they're willing to admit in official statements. So now we have two Feds: one that speaks at press conferences, and one that leaks to CNBC when the coast is clear.

🤡 Scene 4: Trump vs. Powell, Round 14

Enter Donald J. Trump, armed with a flamethrower and zero chill.

Mind you, this is the same man who appointed Powell - and then reappointed him. Now he's threatening to replace him two years early if he wins. So much for central bank independence.

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🐍 BONUS: The Political Mind Games

This isn’t just about rates. This is about November. Every move the Fed makes from here on out will be judged through an election-year lens. Cut too soon? Biden boost. Stay too high? GOP rally fuel.

Powell knows it. Trump knows it. The market knows it. And every hedge fund desk from Midtown to Menlo Park is trading it like a meme stock with a central bank ticker.

🤔What Do You Think?

✌️ Thanks for vibing with us. That's your Fed-fueled fever dream. Is this monetary policy or just House of Cards season 9?

⚠️ WARNING: Market data is subject to rapid change. Verify current information before making trading decisions.

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