Friday the 13th: The Macro Reckoning

😎 Market Vibes

Welcome to Friday the 13th - and yeah, the market's acting like it. Oil's ripping, gold's glowing, and stocks are sulking in the corner. If your portfolio feels cursed, you're not alone. Geopolitics took the wheel overnight, and now everything's pricing in chaos. Buckle up - it's gonna be a weird one.

🧨 Oil-fueled chaos

• 🛢️Israel lit the fuse: Airstrikes on Iranian nuke sites sent Brent crude screaming past $75 - up over 10% in one day. If you panic-bought oil futures this morning, you're accidentally winning.

• 🐛Gold bugs are eating: The shiny rock just flexed past a fresh high, because when global order is in full drama mode, at least your chain appreciates.

• 📉S&P futures? Down bad: Everything not tied to war or shiny stuff is in the red. Wall Street's vibe today is bunker-core.

• 🫢Bitcoin got humbled: Slipping to $102K. Crypto bros said it was digital gold - the market said "nah, we good."

• ✈️Airlines nose-dived: shedding nearly 5% on spiking jet fuel prices. Delta's chart looks like one of its grounded 737s.

💸 Trade Talk

Let's be real - inflation didn't do this, Jerome didn't do this, your weird uncle's bond fund didn't do this. Geopolitics is back, and it just triple-kicked the macro bulls in the face. If you're still long growth with oil at $75 and missiles flying? Still riding growth stocks while oil spikes and the world shakes? That's not a thesis, that's a fever dream.

Meanwhile, gold's out here doing what gold does - quietly printing new highs while everyone panic-scrolls.

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🧠 Big Brain Energy

$75 crude in one strike.
Brent oil soared past $75 faster than a meme stock on a Reddit rumor. Last week it was chillin' in the high 60s. Then Israel went full send and now we're pricing in Gulf blockades like it's 1979. 🛢️

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🧨The Outrage Meter

Adobe: Beat earnings. Got slapped.
Yes, Adobe crushed earnings, raised guidance, and even used the word "AI" a record 42 times on the call. So why's the stock down 3% premarket? Because nobody cares when the VIX is spiking and oil's eating your margin. Tough scene for the suite-software faithful.

🤔What Do You Think?

✌️ Thanks for vibing with us. Hit reply and let us know your take on today's market madness.

⚠️ WARNING: Market data is subject to rapid change. Verify current information before making trading decisions.

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