Inflation’s lukewarm, but the market’s totally weird

😎 Market Vibes

Markets are cruising in low gear today - inflation didn't spike, but it sure didn't chill either. Trump's tossing out trade deals like poker chips, GameStop's crypto dreams got nerfed, and Oracle just unlocked "AI god mode" by name-dropping the right nerds. CPI is the main course, but the side dishes are unhinged.

🧊 Calm Before the CPI Storm

• 🤝Trump's trade deal tease: The Don says a "done" deal with China includes rare earth minerals "up front" and student visas for Chinese nationals. You know - just your average Tuesday-level barter involving critical minerals and Ivy League dorm beds.

• 😎CPI stays chill-ish: May inflation ticked up to 2.4% YoY (from 2.3%), with core CPI flat at 2.8% - so yeah, it's not crashing, but it's not raging either. Despite all the tariff tantrums, prices are holding their line. Rate cuts? Still on the table... just not with champagne.

• 🎮GameStop slides: Earnings beat, but no fresh Bitcoin buys = sad memes. Stock dropped 4.6% because apparently the only thing that matters now is whether they ape harder into crypto. Welcome to the casino.

• 🛢️Oil outlook: OPEC's top boss says global demand will keep growing - no peak, no pause, just pedal to the petro-metal.

• 📈Treasury yields rise: The 10-year crept up to 4.47% as traders clutched pearls ahead of CPI. Apparently, "higher for longer" is still the Fed's love language.

💸 Trade Talk

The market's in a holding pattern, waiting for the CPI numbers to drop. If inflation comes in hot, expect a sell-off. If it's cool, we might see a rally. Either way, volatility is the name of the game today.

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🧠 Big Brain Energy

Trump says "deal is done" with China.
In a post this morning, he claimed the agreement includes China supplying rare earth minerals "up front" and the U.S. reopening the door to Chinese student visas. That's tech metals for campus passes - sure, why not?

🇺🇸📦 But the real headline? Trump says the U.S. is hitting China with 55% tariffs.
No, not all at once - that's his math from stacking a 20% drug tariff, a 10% base rate, and other duties averaging out to 25%. China's hitting back with 10%.

📌 It's not exactly NAFTA 2.0, but at least both sides are talking again - and the rare earth angle could matter for EVs, chips, and defense stocks.

🧨The Outrage Meter

Oracle pulled the ultimate AI grift - flopped on earnings, mumbled "OpenAI" and "Microsoft" a few times, and walked away $30B richer.

Revenue? Miss. Earnings? Miss. But sprinkle in a press release flexing about "partnering with OpenAI, Microsoft, and Google," and boom - the stock ripped 9%+ after hours.

The market didn't even blink at the soft numbers. All it heard was "Oracle is now part of the AI blob," and decided that was worth a multi-billion dollar pump. Forget fundamentals - this is meme valuation dressed up in enterprise software.

If yelling "AI" into a server rack is worth this kind of premium, we should all be launching cloud infrastructure startups out of our garages.

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