🪑📺 Market Waiting Room

😎 Market Vibes

One million jobs vanish, one shiny phone appears. The Bureau of Labor Statistics might yank nearly a million jobs off the scoreboard, and Cupertino is about to convince us that "new glass, same phone" is worth another $1,199. Meanwhile, Microsoft just dropped almost $20B on rented GPUs like it's a Costco run. Buckle up - today's tape is running on hype, revisions, and a side of Jersey data centers.

📺 Waiting-Room Energy

• 📈 Futures Tiptoe Higher: Traders are bracing for today's BLS payroll benchmark revision that could kneecap earlier job gains. Translation: the labor flex might have been mostly vibes.

• 📱 iPhone Day Returns: The iPhone 17 hype train is pulling into the station. Same design, new price tag?

• 🤖 Silicon Supply Secured: Nebius scores a $19.4B deal with Microsoft and rips premarket. Is renting compute is the new oil?

• ☁️ Oracle After The Bell: Earnings on deck with cloud capex tea leaves for the whole AI-compute complex. Larry's vibes will set tomorrow's mood.

• 💹 Rate Cuts Aren't Magic: Nearly 40% of the time since 1980, stocks drop after a Fed cut. Sometimes the confetti cannon is actually a fire alarm.

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💸 Trade Talk

The iPhone 17 keynote isn't just a gadget drop - it's a quarterly stress test for Apple's entire ecosystem. From chipmakers to case hawkers, everyone's margins get re-priced the second Tim Cook says "innovation," even if it's just another camera lens.

🧠 Big Brain Energy

Stat: $19.4 billion. 

That's the max size of Nebius's GPU rental deal with Microsoft - a compute tab big enough to buy every barrel of oil the U.S. imports in a week. Who needs crude when you can lease silicon?

🧨The Outrage Meter

The BLS might erase up to 900,000 jobs from the books in today's benchmark update.

Translation: "Oops, turns out almost a million of those hires were imaginary. Our bad."

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