Tariff D-Day finally arrives

😎 Market Vibes

It’s Thursday and markets are absorbing a heavy dose of trade tensions, pharma flops, and presidential drama. Trump’s long-promised tariffs officially went live, but markets opened green as traders shrugged off the escalation. Eli Lilly stumbled on weight-loss drug results, Intel got dragged by the White House, and ConocoPhillips just sold $1.3B worth of Oklahoma assets.

Let’s dive in.

🎯 Tariff D-Day finally arrives

• ⚠️ Trump's August 7 tariff apocalypse kicks in TODAY: After multiple delays and fake-outs, reciprocal tariffs on dozens of countries went live. Markets barely flinched because apparently we've normalized economic warfare as just another Tuesday.

• 📊 S&P 500 opens at 6,374: Up from yesterday's close as markets digest the fact that Trump's tariff deadline actually happened. Traders playing it surprisingly chill despite the historic trade war escalation.

• 🫢 Eli Lilly just did the biotech equivalent of tripping onstage: Despite their Q2 beat, weight-loss drug results flopped, and the stock faceplanted as much as 14%. Investors suddenly remembered that not all miracle pills work - and Wall Street hates bad side effects.

• 🛢️ ConocoPhillips announces $1.3B Anadarko Basin asset sale: The oil giant just dropped a bombshell by offloading 300,000 net acres in Oklahoma to Stone Ridge Energy.

• 💻 Trump demands Intel CEO "resign immediately": POTUS went full Truth Social rage mode against Lip-Bu Tan, claiming he's "highly conflicted" over China ties. Intel stock tanked 3% because apparently geopolitical drama is the new earnings guidance.

💸 Trade Talk

Today marks Trump delivering on his promises and the beginning of America First economics. Following several deadline extensions and market speculation, country-specific tariffs officially kicked in across multiple trading partners. Traders hope these strategic import adjustments will boost domestic manufacturing and level the playing field - exactly what Trump campaigned on.

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🧠 Big Brain Energy

$1.3 billion - What ConocoPhillips is pocketing for 300,000 acres of Oklahoma dirt after acquiring Marathon Oil last year. The energy giant is proving that strategic asset sales can be more profitable than drilling new holes - they've already blown past their $2 billion divestment target ahead of schedule. Stone Ridge Energy gets assets producing 39,000 boepd (roughly half natural gas) in the STACK and SCOOP plays.

🧨The Outrage Meter

Eli Lilly’s much-hyped oral weight-loss drug flopped harder than a SPAC in 2022.

Its GLP-1 weight-loss pill orforglipron cut body weight by 12.4% in trials. Impressive? Maybe… until you remember Novo Nordisk’s Wegovy already hits ~15%+ with injections.

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🤔What Do You Think?

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