⏳ The Whole Market Is Waiting on One Chip Stock

😎 Market Vibes

Happy Nvidia Day! The most over-analyzed company on Earth drops Q2 earnings tonight, and markets are treating it like a Super Bowl/earnings call hybrid. Meanwhile, Kohl's is mooning off an earnings beat while getting sued, roasted by vendors, and still CEO-less. Retail is weird. AI is weirder. Let's vibe.

🤑 Earnings Party

• 💻 Nvidia Earnings Watch: Stock futures are nearly flat ahead of its Q2 release later today, with the whole AI hype complex waiting to either explode or implode. Spoiler: Whatever happens, meme accounts are ready.

• 🧪 MongoDB Earnings Explosion: Shares rocket ~30% after torching earnings estimates and raising full-year guidance. That's not just a beat - that's a chest-thumping growth flex. Retail traders just found their new AI-adjacent crush.

• 🛍️ Kohl's Defies Gravity: Stock rips over 20% after beating Q2 and hiking its outlook, even as vendor drama and the CEO scandal loom in the background. Apparently, Wall Street doesn't care how the sausage gets made - just show profit.

• 🔐 Okta Holds the Line: Cybersecurity name climbs ~5% after reporting solid earnings and raising guidance. No flash, no scandal - just quietly making money in a sector that still screams "recession-proof."

• 🧥 Canada Goose Takeover Chatter: Shares spike ~14-15% on reports Bain Capital and friends are sniffing around a buyout. Because nothing says "deal premium" like overpriced parkas in August.

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💸 Trade Talk

Nvidia isn't just reporting earnings tonight - it's anchoring the entire AI narrative. Expectations are sky-high: revenue growth, gross margins, and data center demand all need to accelerate just to keep the stock flat. If there's even a hint of normalization, this entire market risks repricing what it thinks "AI scale" actually means.

🧠 Big Brain Energy

U.S. corporate buybacks have sprinted past $1 trillion this year, faster than any prior pace, with Apple alone spending $100B and Alphabet $70B. Talk about buying back your own hype.

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🧨The Outrage Meter

Kohl's stock popped after their earnings beat, but let's not ignore the backstory: a Bloomberg report flagged that Kohl's asked some vendors for extended time to settle invoices.

On top of that, Kohl's is being sued for nearly $8 million by PSK Collective-a supplier claims Kohl's hasn't paid for athleisure merchandise it delivered, and is even accused of "theft by fraud."

Oh, and CEO Ashley Buchanan? Booted back in May.

🤔What Do You Think?

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