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- 😡 Wall Street Wakes Up Grumpy (Again)
😡 Wall Street Wakes Up Grumpy (Again)
Well, well, well - looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the Fed.

😎 Market Vibes
😡 Wall Street Wakes Up Grumpy (Again)
Well, well, well - looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the Fed. Markets opened Friday looking like they just remembered they have student loans, with the S&P 500 sliding about 0.5% to around 6,672, the Dow dropping to 47,222, and the Nasdaq getting absolutely smoked down to 22,544.
Tech stocks are having a moment - and not the good kind. We're talking the "maybe I shouldn't have paid 150x earnings for that AI stock" kind of moment. Momentum names are getting absolutely torched in pre-market trading, continuing Thursday's beatdown that had retail favorites and speculative plays running for the exits faster than you can say "margin call."
The culprit? A delicious cocktail of Fed hawkishness, stubborn inflation vibes, and the growing realization that December's rate cut isn't the slam dunk everyone thought it was. Market odds for a December cut have flipped from "basically guaranteed" to "coin flip territory" at around 55%, down from 65% earlier this week. Thanks, Fed officials, for keeping us on our toes.
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💵 Bitcoin's Billion-Dollar Beatdown
If you thought stocks had it rough, Bitcoin holders are experiencing what we in the business call "a bad time." BTC tumbled below $97,000 on Friday morning, down a gut-wrenching 6-8% and sitting at its lowest level since May.
The pain is real, folks. Nearly $1.1 billion in liquidations hit the crypto markets, with Bitcoin and Ethereum leading the bloodbath. Long-term holders decided this was a great time to take profits, offloading more than 815,000 BTC over the past month - the biggest seller wave since January 2024.
Adding insult to injury, Bitcoin ETFs saw a whopping $869 million in outflows on Thursday alone. Meanwhile, about $5 billion worth of Bitcoin and Ethereum options are expiring today on Deribit, which basically means buckle up because this volatility train isn't stopping anytime soon.
The narrative? Bitcoin appears to be fighting one battle after another - dollar strength, Treasury yields climbing, missing government economic data, and the general vibe that maybe, just maybe, we got ahead of ourselves. But hey, down 24% from the top isn't the worst we've seen in crypto.
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✨ Gold Glitters (Slightly Less Brightly)
While Bitcoin melts down, gold is having a relatively chill Friday at around $4,052 per ounce. Sure, it's down $168 from yesterday, but when you're up over $1,480 year-over-year, a little pullback is basically a rounding error.
Gold's been the MVP of 2025, climbing more than 25% since January and hitting multiple record highs along the way. The precious metal loves uncertainty like cats love knocking things off tables - and boy, do we have uncertainty. Government shutdown ending? Check. Fed rate cut doubts? Check. Geopolitical tensions? Double check.
The yellow metal is trading in that sweet spot where inflation fears meet safe-haven demand. Every time Powell talks about "driving in the fog" or Fed officials get squirrely about December, gold gets another bid. It's not flashy, it's not going to make you Instagram-famous, but it's doing exactly what it's supposed to do - be boring and reliable while everything else goes haywire.
Meanwhile, oil prices are creeping up around 1-2%, with WTI hovering near $60 per barrel after a Ukrainian drone strike on Russian oil facilities reminded everyone that geopolitical risk is still very much a thing.
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🪄 Disney's Not-So-Magical Earnings
Speaking of stocks that got sold off harder than Elsa merchandise in 2014, Disney reported earnings after the bell Thursday and investors were... not impressed. The Mouse House beat on earnings ($1.11 vs. $1.07 expected) but missed on revenue ($22.46B vs. $22.75B expected), which is apparently grounds for a 7% stock slaughter in today's market.
The problem? Linear TV is bleeding faster than a horror movie, dragging down the entertainment division's revenue by 6%. Streaming added 3.8 million Disney+ subscribers (nice!), but apparently that's not enough to offset the fact that people are cutting the cable cord faster than you can say "bundle package."
The parks division grew 6% and operating income jumped 13%, which sounds great until you realize Wall Street wanted more. They always want more. Disney's also boosting its dividend and doubling share buybacks for fiscal 2026, but Thursday's after-hours action showed that sometimes good news just isn't good enough.
CEO Bob Iger's in his final stretch at the helm, and the market's basically treating Disney like it's in some awkward transition phase between "legacy media giant" and "streaming-first entertainment powerhouse." Spoiler alert: transitions are messy.
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🥅 Fed Officials Keep Moving the Goalposts
If you're confused about whether the Fed will cut rates in December, join the club. Fed officials are out here acting like they're conducting a social experiment on market psychology.
Boston Fed President Susan Collins and Atlanta Fed President Raphael Bostic both came out Wednesday opposing another rate cut next month. That's on top of Chair Powell's "far from a foregone conclusion" comment from late October that had markets doing a double-take.
The issue? Nobody has a clue what's actually happening in the economy because the government shutdown delayed key data reports. Powell's been reduced to using phrases like "driving in the fog" and "slow down" - which is central banker speak for "your guess is as good as mine, buddy."
The divided FOMC had two dissents at the last meeting - one wanted a bigger cut, one wanted no cut at all. That's like having a family dinner where one person wants pizza, another wants sushi, and nobody can agree on literally anything. Rate cut odds have plummeted from 95% a month ago to basically a coin flip now.
Translation: volatility isn't going anywhere, and the path forward is about as clear as a muddy windshield in a rainstorm.
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🔥 Applied Materials: Solid Beat, Stock Still Gets Roasted
Applied Materials reported after the close Thursday, beating earnings expectations and offering decent forward guidance. Naturally, the stock dropped 2-4% in extended trading because this market makes perfect sense.
The semiconductor equipment maker is dealing with China export restrictions that are expected to shave $600 million off fiscal 2026 sales. CEO Gary Dickerson noted that the share of China's wafer fab equipment market the company can't access has jumped to "well over 20%" from just 10% last year.
But here's the thing - management is preparing for higher demand in the second half of calendar 2026, which sounds promising if you can survive the next several months of "lower China spending and market restrictions." The chip sector has been a rollercoaster this year, and Applied Materials is just along for the ride.
The stock was up 35% year-to-date heading into this report but has thoroughly lagged peers KLA Corp and Lam Research. Tech earnings season continues to be a game of "beat expectations, still get punished" - it's basically the stock market equivalent of doing your homework and still getting detention.
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🎬 Bottom Line
Friday's serving up a reality check buffet - stocks sliding, Bitcoin bleeding, and the Fed playing hard to get with rate cuts. Tech's momentum trade is unwinding faster than a cheap sweater, Disney reminded us that transition periods are painful, and crypto is learning that what goes up 150% can absolutely come down 25%.
Gold's chilling near record highs, oil's getting a geopolitical bid, and Applied Materials proved that even solid earnings can't save you when the macro winds shift. The shutdown may be over, but the data fog remains, and Powell's basically telling markets to pump the brakes until someone figures out what's actually happening with the economy.
December's rate cut odds have gone from "lock it in" to "maybe, maybe not," which means we're in for continued volatility through year-end. Buckle up, stay nimble, and remember - in markets like these, the only certainty is uncertainty. And possibly more selling.
Happy Friday. Don't forget to hydrate.
🔥 What’s Heating Up This Week
Markets are moving - here's whats heating up with our partners:
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