We're booked, busy, and over it

😎 Market Vibes

Global powers are negotiating in London. Tech CEOs are promising superintelligence. And Bitcoin just got catfished. Again.

If this sounds like a plotline written by ChatGPT after three energy drinks, you're not wrong. The U.S. and China are back in a room trying to not start another trade war. Meta's playing mad scientist. Apple dropped an "AI" update that landed with a thud. And BTC? Up 4% on fake news from a hacked politician's account.

It's diplomacy meets delusion - and we're here for all of it.

🍹 Markets on mute, tech drama on full blast

• 📉 Flat futures and flatter vibes - U.S. stock futures are as exciting as a Monday Zoom call. Traders are locked in on U.S.-China trade talks happening in London, a throwback to the good ol' tariff tantrum days.

• 🍏 Apple flops post-WWDC - Tim Cook took the stage, whispered "AI" 38 times, and investors still yawned. iOS 26 has ChatGPT integration, but Siri's makeover? MIA. Stock dipped 1.5% mid-keynote. Tim, blink twice if you need innovation.

• 🤖 Meta's 'superintelligence' pivot - Zuck's response to Llama 4's "meh" reception? Assemble 50 of the brightest minds to chase AGI. It's giving Silicon Valley Avengers. Investors aren't buying the popcorn yet.

• 🏭 TSMC's chip flex - 40% revenue growth YoY in May. That's not a typo. U.S.-listed shares spiked nearly 2% pre-market. Apparently, someone is buying all those AI chips... probably Zuck.

• 💻 Microsoft finally taps the brakes - After 8 green days in a row, the stock edged lower today. Still riding high on AI euphoria, but nothing goes up forever (except maybe Nvidia).

^_[sponsored]

The Next Big Gold Play: 1 Oz of Gold Exposure for $20

Gold is set to skyrocket, but most people don’t know about this under-$20 stock that offers a stake in more than an ounce of gold. Click here for urgent details before the market catches on.

💸 Trade Talk

So here's the thing: if your AI announcement doesn't literally summon an LLM that trades options better than the Greeks, the market's gonna shrug.

Apple's iOS 26 reveal? Underwhelming.
Meta's "superintelligence group"? Cool, but also... vague.
Wall Street's done pretending that a flashy keynote = alpha.

The bar's higher now. If it ain't printing revenue or building Skynet, keep it off the earnings call.

🧠 Big Brain Energy

The U.S. and China are meeting in London to ease trade tensions - again.
📍Same script, different continent.
It's the billionth "high-stakes" trade talk in the past decade, now with tea and scones.
Wall Street's pretending to care, but unless someone bans chips or hugs over tariffs, this is just geopolitical cosplay.

🧨The Outrage Meter

Hack it till you make it. Paraguay's president's official X account was compromised, posting that the country had adopted Bitcoin as legal tender. Within minutes, BTC jumped 4%, Twitter exploded, and CT (Crypto Twitter) declared another "historic moment."
Only problem? It was fake. But instead of crashing, Bitcoin held its gains like an attention-seeking toddler who just got a lollipop.
In other words: We're trading hopium, not headlines.

^_[sponsored]

Wall Street Execs: This Shouldn’t Be Public Knowledge

Investing expert Tom Busby might not win any popularity contests on Wall Street anytime soon, but he’s not concerned. Everything I put into my new guide is for the investor that constantly gets taken advantage of! In his “Little Black Book”, Busby reveals the trading tactics institutional investors don’t want anyone else to know… Click here to keep reading.

🤔What Do You Think?

✌️ Thanks for vibing with us. Hit reply and let us know your take on today's market madness.

⚠️ WARNING: Market data is subject to rapid change. Verify current information before making trading decisions.

DISCLAIMER: Stocks and options trading have large potential rewards, but also large potential risk. You must be aware of the risks and be willing to accept them in order to invest in the stocks and options markets. Don't trade with money you can't afford to lose. This is neither a solicitation nor an offer to Buy/Sell stocks or options. No representation is being made that any account will or is likely to achieve profits or losses similar to those discussed in the linked report. The past performance of any trading system or methodology is not necessarily indicative of future results. All trades, patterns, charts, systems, etc., discussed in the linked report are for illustrative purposes only and not to be construed as specific advisory recommendations. Information contained in this correspondence is intended for informational purposes only and was obtained from sources believed to be reliable. Information is in no way guaranteed. No guarantee of any kind is implied or possible where projections of future conditions are attempted. For full disclaimer information, click here.