šŸŗ When October Said "Hold My Beer"

Remember when we thought markets were unpredictable? October 2025 just redefined the word.

šŸ˜Ž Market Vibes

šŸŗ When October Said "Hold My Beer"

Remember when we thought markets were unpredictable? October 2025 just redefined the word. In a single month, we witnessed gold shattering records at nearly $4,000 per ounce, the Dow piercing 47,000 for the first time ever, Bitcoin riding the "Uptober" rollercoaster from $126,000 to $107,000 and back, a 29-day government shutdown that somehow didn't tank equities, and a trade war with China that ended with Trump and Xi shaking hands in South Korea. If you blinked, you missed about twelve plot twists.

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šŸ… Gold Bugs Finally Get Their Victory Lap

Gold didn't just have a good month - it had a historic one. The yellow metal hit its 45th all-time high of 2025, briefly crossing $4,000 per ounce before settling near $3,950. That's up nearly 44% year-to-date, crushing virtually every other asset class. The drivers? The government shutdown highlighting fiscal dysfunction, central banks diversifying away from US Treasuries at record pace, Trump's trade war creating uncertainty, and dollar weakness making gold relatively cheaper for foreign buyers. Goldman Sachs now predicts $4,000 by year-end and potentially $5,000 if just 1% of privately owned Treasuries flow into gold. J.P. Morgan sees $4,000 by mid-2026. Gold ETFs added $21 billion since August, though holdings remain below 2020 peaks.

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āš ļø The Shutdown That Wasn't (For Stocks, Anyway)

On October 1st, the federal government entered its 11th shutdown in US history and the longest full government shutdown ever recorded. Congress couldn't agree on health care subsidies, so 900,000 federal workers got furloughed and another 2 million worked without pay. SNAP benefits got suspended starting November 1st. Economic data releases got delayed. House staffers missed paychecks. NASA furloughed over 15,000 employees. It was a legitimate mess - exactly the kind of political dysfunction that theoretically could crater markets. Except... it didn't. The S&P 500 actually hit record highs multiple times during the shutdown. The Dow broke 47,000. Tech stocks kept climbing. Why? Partly because shutdowns historically have minimal economic impact (estimated -0.1% to -0.2% GDP per week). And partly because markets have become desensitized to Washington chaos.

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šŸ˜µā€šŸ’« Earnings Season: The Good, The Great, and The "Wait, What?"

Q3 earnings season delivered results: over 80% of S&P 500 companies beat earnings expectations, well above the historical 60% average. Banks reported strong results - Morgan Stanley popped 6% on a massive beat, Bank of America rose 4%. Ford jumped 12% after strong Q3 results. UnitedHealth, PayPal, UPS - beat after beat after beat. The "Magnificent Seven" tech giants remained the market's architects, collectively representing 37.4% of the S&P 500's weighting. Microsoft reported Azure growth of 40%, though shares dipped on capex concerns. Alphabet gained. Nvidia hit a $5 trillion market cap on October 29th - yes, trillion with a T. The message: corporate earnings remain resilient, AI investment is accelerating. The forward P/E ratio sits at 22.4, above historical averages, but earnings growth of 11% for 2025 provides context.

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🤨 Bitcoin's "Uptober" Identity Crisis

October has historically been Bitcoin's best friend - posting positive returns in 11 of the last 15 years with an average gain of 27%. Traders even coined the term "Uptober" to celebrate crypto's favorite month. This year? Not so much. Bitcoin started October around $114,000, spiked to a new all-time high of $126,200 on October 5th (fueling shutdown-driven "debasement trade" narratives), then crashed to $107,000 by mid-month - a 13% correction. The culprit? Trump threatened China with a 100% tariff on October 10th, triggering the largest crypto liquidation event ever tracked, wiping out over $19 billion in positions. By month's end, BTC was trading around $109,000 after Fed Chair Powell threw cold water on December rate cut expectations. Despite the chaos, Bitcoin still managed to close October barely green at around $115,000.

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āœ‚ļø The Fed's Cutting Cycle Gets Complicated

The Federal Reserve delivered its second consecutive 25-basis-point rate cut on October 29th, bringing the fed funds rate to 3.75-4.0%. Markets had priced this in with near-certainty, so the cut itself was a non-event. What wasn't priced in was Chair Jerome Powell's unexpectedly hawkish press conference immediately after. "A rate cut in December is far from a foregone conclusion," Powell declared, shocking traders who had assigned 90% odds to another December cut. That probability immediately plummeted to 69%. Powell's message was clear: the Fed is adopting a wait-and-see approach. The government shutdown delaying key economic data only adds to the uncertainty - the Fed is literally "driving in the fog," as one analyst put it. Historically, rate-cutting cycles have been bullish for stocks, especially when they don't coincide with recessions.

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🧊 Trump, Xi, and the Trade War Thaw

The month's grand finale came with President Trump's Asia tour, which culminated in a bilateral meeting with Chinese President Xi Jinping in South Korea on October 30th. After months of escalating tariffs, the two leaders emerged with what Trump called progress on "almost everything." The US lowered overall tariff rates on Chinese goods from 57% to 47%. China agreed to suspend its latest rare earth export controls and special port fees targeting US ships. Both sides signaled progress on soybeans, fentanyl, and trade frameworks. It wasn't a comprehensive deal, but it was enough to calm markets and suggest the worst of the trade war theatrics might be over (for now). The key word being "for now," because anyone who's watched Trump and Xi knows this relationship swings between cooperation and confrontation.

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šŸŽ¬ Bottom Line

October 2025 will be remembered as the month when literally everything happened at once - and markets somehow kept climbing. Gold hit $4,000. Stocks hit records during a government shutdown. Bitcoin had an identity crisis. Earnings crushed expectations. The Fed cut rates but warned about December. Trump and Xi went from tariff threats to handshakes. If you're feeling exhausted just reading this recap, imagine living through it in real-time. November historically delivers even stronger gains than October for both stocks and crypto. With earnings momentum, potential Fed cuts, and trade tensions easing, conditions appear set for continued market action.

šŸ”„ What’s Heating Up This Week

Markets are moving - here's whats heating up with our partners:

āœŒļø Thanks for vibing with us.

āš ļø WARNING: Market data is subject to rapid change. Verify current information before making trading decisions.

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